Until It Sleeps (Part One)
by Austin Blake
Summary: A spin of "Forever"....Angel returns, he and Buffy reconcile...but at what price?


DISCLAIMER: Ah hell, you know what's yours and what isn't...  
  
DEDICATION: Molly...THE frickin' best Buffy I know...could ANYONE generate more angst than she?  
  
(One Episode before "Forever"...or a remake of it...you decide...)  
  
  
  
  
  
UNTIL IT SLEEPS  
Part One  
  
Angel knelt in the shadows of the graveyard, his dark eyes cold and calculating as they focused on Drusilla's pale form, watching her fluid movements carefully. He lowered his head, his thin lips creasing as worry washed over his angelic features. Why Dru was here, he didn't know. But it couldn't be good. He ran a steady alabaster hand through his coal-black locks, raising his gaze back to his Childe, expecting the worst once she sensed his presence.  
She stroked Miss Edith's tangled hair, trying to run her slender finger through the maze. Angel's presence was known but that was not of her interest at the moment. What her thoughts dwelled upon was the darkened silhouette of the Slayer in the distance. The girl who had taken her beloved Spike away from her. The jealousy and anger pierced her body like daggers. Then as if not a care in the world, she dropped the doll to the ground, making a soft thud on the damp grass.  
He stepped out of the shadows silently, creeping up behind her. He whispered into her ear gently, as if not to frighten the Seer, "Naughty girl....what could you possibly be up to now...?"   
The cemetery gates creaked eerily as Buffy pushed them open. She needed a break from...everything. Her mother's death was becoming unbearable. She wore simple attire consisting of a gray cotton shirt with Calvin Klein jeans. Her gold-tainted tresses spiraled down her cheeks in an ocean of beauty. Her hazel eyes stayed focused on the ground, only looking up to make sure she wasn't going to run into anything. She was completely unaware of the two past presences she was about to come in contact with.  
A smile played across Drusilla's lips for he was that close to her. She was thoroughly pleased but did not remove her gaze from the Slayer. "Sly lil' fox you are. A wolf in sheep's clothing."   
He gave a slight smile, his duster shifting a bit as a long, sanded stake slipped out of it's cuff. He held the stake tightly, ready to unleash his wooden wares on her in an instant. "You so much as touch a single blond strand of hair...and I'll make sure you end up in the dust bin..."  
As swiftly as possible she turned around and grabbed him by the throat. She appeared fragile and weak, but her true ferocity and strength is revealed now and again. "Naughty daddy...he roared and cracked the birdie's wing."   
He looked up, life coming to his chocolate-brown eyes, in which sadness and remorse had dwelled for so long. There stood his Beloved, her golden blonde locks enveloping her like a celestial halo. She was, in many ways, his Angel. He gave an unneeded sigh, looking down at the pale apparition that now clutched his throat. He let out a swift backhand, lashing out at her in an unknown rage, breaking free. "Bad girl....never EVER put your hands on Daddy again..."   
Buffy's head snapped forward as she heard the rustling of a struggle. Wiping her tear-stained cheeks, she quickly scanned the area. Her slayer powers did not enhance her vision at night. It was difficult to see. Her voice was cracked and full of hurt as she called out, "H-hello?"   
Angel clenched his fists tightly, his right hand clutching the stake with a white-knuckle grip. He didn't know where that demonic anger had come from, but he had to control it, as Buffy was becoming more aware to their presence here.  
Falling back and releasing her grip, Drusilla began to moan. The moaning quickly turned to tears as she held her cheek. She was of course playing but it did sting. She was surprised somehow by his actions, but now she felt danger.  
Calling out again, Buffy's muscles tensed painfully. Her body was getting prepared to fight but she didn't want to. God, no more violence. Her calling had taken it's toll...and now on her mother. But no more. She tucked a lock of golden curls behind her ears. "Hello?"   
Angel vamped, strong ridges standing out firmly as his eyes flashed a hellish yellow, long ivory fangs jutting from his normally calm composure. He growled at her as he cursed himself for letting Angelus get this close. "Dru....leave.....NOW....."  
"I feel it, my lovely...daddy wants out. He's clawing at your insides. Oh the pain." Tilting her head back and cackling, Dru moaned in pleasure. She did feel his anger in the air...she fed into it. It gave her power and amusement.  
In terror, Buffy's eyes widened at that all-too-familiar cackle that echoed among the tombstones. Fear was now etched onto her face. Look at what she'd become. It was like she was not the Chosen One. Not the Slayer. For the first time she was scared...afraid to fight. This time she ran...ran to the gates, but it was too late. Standing before her was another creature of the night. Clawing at her head she backed away. "No..."  
Angel bared his fangs at her, praying to the God that didn't want him that Buffy wouldn't hear Dru's diabolical laughter. God, of course not listening to some vampire with a soul, gave wind of those less-than-angelic sounds to the blonde Slayer. "Dru.....go......before I make sure you go where you can't come back..."  
Feeling a sudden chill from the slayer's pain, Dru's childish smirk grew larger. She clapped once with delight and giggled again. "Oh, the slayer's frightened. Her heart is singing. Do you hear it?" She didn't often ask if anyone heard what she did, but this time it was strong. He had to have felt it.  
Angel suddenly came out of nowhere behind Buffy as she backed into his chest, his angelic features regained, his dark eyes in a cold penetrating stare at Drusilla, icy enough to pierce the very fires of Hell themselves. "Drusilla.....I warned you.....stay away from her....." Truth be told, he did sense it. He hated it with all his being. He wanted to ease Buffy's heartache, comfort her with all he had in a warm consoling embrace that only lovers could have. But Angelus thrived on it, and hindered him from making any actions as her pain and suffering nurtured him.   
Looking up at Angel, Buffy's jaw dropped. He was here...oh, how she longed for him. Like a child she collapsed at his feet and began to sob. Visions of her mothers dead body began to flash in her mind. The pain was unbearable...it was dawning on her...her mother was truly gone.  
Angel knelt down and held her, gently kissing her neck and her forehead, moving to her lips as if those simple actions could wash her pain away. And he tried, oh how he tried "It's alright, Buffy..."  
Sensing his rage, Dru begin to whimper. She swiftly swept Miss Edith into her arms and held her close like a mother would her child. Then like the wind, she was gone. She wouldn't have left...she was angry enough to eat the slayer's eyeballs right out of her sockets...but she was feeling threatened. If she had stayed, she wouldn't have lived to see the next moon.   
Buffy wanted to speak, but no sound came from her mouth except painful moans. Tears continued to flow from her eyes and the only thing she knew to do was drape her arms around Angel's neck and pull herself closer to him. Everyone had left her. Angel, Riley, and now her own mother. She was all alone. But not now...not with him. For once the protector needed protecting. To be comforted and held close. Everything had been torn from her...and she needed time to heal.   
As he held her in his arms, he closed his eyes, letting her body melt into his, as well as their hearts. He yearned to tell her what he had came here for. To offer condolences on Joyce, yes. But there was something else. Something that needed not be spoken, and yet required at the same time. Although his dark eyes screamed it with deafening force, he had to speak. His voice, although a whipser, easily caught Buffy's ear, for she had heard the words before. Even after all this time, his unbeating heart rose in his chest as he said them. "I love you, Buffy..."  
She raised her head to meet his gaze. Her heart melted at the sight of him and she began to sob more. Needing no words, she leaned in and kissed him. Her whole world dissappeared. It was only him and her. She loved him so much...he was all she had left now. Yes, she had the Scoobies, and Giles, and Dawn...but what about all the evil? They can't understand that. Angel can. That's what she needed. Her one true love.   
He kissed her passionately with a gentleness he didn't know he had. Angelus was pounding at his mind with the very hammer of Thor itself, screaming out it anguish. But finally in Buffy's embrace, it all melted away with the world. It was only him and her. Nothing else mattered, only the affectionate entwining of souls that was taking place.  
She pulled away but began kissing down his cheek to his neck. When she reached his chest she rested her head and began sobbing again. "Oh God Angel what am I going to do...I don't have anyone now. I'm all alone...and what about Dawn!?" She began muttering to herself more than to him all her worries. Finally she stopped and just continued sobbing. Her wailing was pitiful and full of hurt. This was a feeling she didn't know about. She was used to being strong but now she just wasn't. She felt alone. Even in his arms she felt alone. He would have to go back to L.A. Then what!? How could she live the rest of her life like this? She just didn't know.   
He touched her cheek gently, caressing it as he lifted her head, his dark eyes looking deep into the pools of hazel that had been misted by her tears. What he said next confirmed what he had considered on his trip down here, dismissing any doubts. With every ounce of loving he had in him, the words flowed out smoothly, warming Buffy's heart with their tenderness. "You have me..."  
She smiled painfully and through sobs she kissed him again. This one more passionate then the last. She began to feel more secure in his arms. Removing her arms from his neck and placing them around his chest, she continued kissing him. She felt as if she was giving Angel, her loved one, all she had left. But give her time, she would be the Slayer again. But now she needed a break. She needed him...and for once, she had him.  
He slowly broke from the kiss, smiling slightly as he held her close to him, kissing the top of her head as it lay on his chest. She would never be the same Buffy, but he wasn't the same brooding Angel. Okay, maybe a little. But things had changed, the only thing still constant - indeed, the only thing that remained - was their love. As his lips brushed against hers in a tender kiss, he quietly whispered the words, "I'm staying..."  
Buffy spoke in a soft whisper, "I didn't know what to do without you. It hurt so badly to go to L.A., being that close but not being able to touch you. I couldn't stand it." She of course didn't remember that he had turned human. The memory had been taken from her. But sometimes she fantasized. Now her arms wouldn't ache to hold him anymore. She didn't know how she could let him go now. But the sun would soon rise. They would soon have to shatter this world of nothing-but-love. She would have to come back to the real world only now...she wouldn't have to face it alone.  
Angel still held her to him, never wanting to let go again. He knew the morning was fast approaching. With a knowing tone, he said, "Your place alright...?"  
"Yeah." She waited for him to make the first move. It was as if her legs wouldn't work, nothing felt right. Her body tingled in hurt and in joy. How she could possibly feel joy at this time was unthinkable but she did.   
He slowly stood, knowing her current vulnerablities. Not caring about any protests that might be made, his picked her up solidly in his strong arms, slowly making his way to the Summers' residence as he carried her through the oncoming dawn.  
Allowing all her defenses to be let down she laid her head on his chest. Now she felt safe. She felt loved. The pain was beginning to go away. Though the thoughts still burned in her mind...'What if he leaves again' or 'What if something happens to us...again', she pushed the thoughts aside. They knew better now. Or did they?  
Her house came into view and in a powerful stride he walked up to her front stoop, stopping abruptly as if waiting for something. "You mind...?"   
Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, she stepped onto the porch. Stumbling a bit, she gained her composure and opened the door. Walking inside, it took her a few moments to remember his invitation. "Come in.."   
He smiled slightly as he walked in, stopping at the doorway to close the door. Memories came flooding back to him one by one, especially as he looked to the staircase leading upstairs to Buffy's room. Of course, not all memories were good. But right now, nothing could sway the swell of joy in his heart.  
Placing her hand on the back of her neck, she winced slightly. She was sore all over. But the happiness that now flooded her heart could not be disturbed. She removed her hand and began walking upstairs, hoping he'd know to follow.  
Angel slowly traced her footsteps, their trip to the top of the stairs seeming to take an eternity. But an eternity is exactly what Angel had, so he gladly walked behind her.  
The floorboards creaked with each footstep she took but now it didn't bother her. She didn't have to worry about sneaking him past her mother. Hearing his footsteps behind her washed away the pain again as she stopped in front of her room. She paused, memories coming to her, but again she brushed them aside and opened the door.   
He slowly stepped into her room, not sure what his next act should be. Every cell in his undead body ached to be with her, to show her how much he loved her. He longed to be inside of her, but wasn't sure if that was a possibility - or a wise idea - at this time. He knew she was vulnerable - he, or rather Angelus, had learned to sense that long ago. He didn't know what to expect of her or what she expected of him. All he knew was he loved her immensely and could feel that the feeling was more than mutual.  
It was like they shared thoughts. All her feelings for him were bottled up inside and ready to explode. She would just have to play it by ear. They tried that once before...the result was not good. But could they control themselves again? 'No Buffy' she told herself. 'There's no good endings in this.' That just made her body ache more. To be with him...to be near him. God, it hurt so much. Everything was so complicated. But at least he was here. That's all she needed. Not feeling the least bit modest she walked to her closet and pulled out her pajamas. Quickly she changed, not worrying that he was standing there. What he was going to do she didn't know. Now was the time to find out.   
He slowly walked up behind her, the fabric of his sleeveless black shirt brushing gently against the small of her naked back. He moved his hands around her, gently caressing her breasts as he kissed slowly down her neck. He couldn't take it anymore. It's like she wanted him to do this. She was so tempting...begging, enticing, almost teasing him to make love to her. He couldn't resist, but somehow he didn't feel any danger. All that was there was the longing for his Beloved.   
Closing her eyes at his touch she swallowed again. It was as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest. She turned to face him and looked in his eyes. That only made her love and want him more. She carefully began to lift his shirt, trying to contain herself. As his skin was exposed she kissed up his chest and to his neck. Then as she lifted it over his head she kissed his chin then finally his lips. Throwing the shirt to the ground without a second glance she closed her eyes once more as she kissed his cold pale lips.   
He kissed her lips softly. His own, icy with death, drew warmth from her soft tiers and he took her in his arms, their kiss becoming more passionate as their bodies entwined.  
She began to undo his belt, still kissing him. She hoped it would never end, that the moon would keep shining and this night would never end. The passion from within her passed to him roughly in their kiss. She didn't care now. He was there...and they loved each other. All she could think about was him. Angel.   
He suddenly broke the embrace, looking down at her panting form and seeing the longing in her eyes. It broke his heart to do this. "No...not like this...you're vulnerable...it wouldn't be you....it wouldn't be right.....I don't want it like this...."  
Lost for words, Buffy just stood there, the ocean of tears consuming her again. Only this time they were silent. Finally she found her voice, it was cracked as before and meek. "Y-you don't want to do this?"   
His heart fell in his chest, seeing her's break before his very eyes. "Yes...I do...but how do I know if you're ready for this?"  
She tried not to lash out, but it was inevitable. The anger, pain, and love within her didn't mix. Her body tingled with anticipation and dissappointment. "Will you stop treating me like a child! I'm 21 years old. I can make my own decisions." Unable to look at him because of her sudden outburst, she turns away to the window and looks out, eyes full with tears.   
For the first time in a while, a tear ran down his cheek slowly. He felt suddenly hated, unwanted like a plague. Once again he was the blight of her existence. "I...I'm sorry...."  
Her words played over and over in her mind, causing her stomach to churn. What was she doing? She just got him back and she almost lost him. He was the only responsible one here. She turned back to him and bit her lips to prevent from crying. "Look at me, Angel. If I can't make good decisions, how am I supposed to make it out there? I almost lost you..." Her voice lowers to a painful whisper, "...again."  
He stepped towards her, holding her soft toned naked flesh against his bare chest, looking deeply into her eyes with his own dark orbs, the sadness having disappeared. "You never...ever....lost me, Buffy."   
She kissed his chest once before resting her head against him again. A tear fell and she felt it run off her cheek to his chest. They had once shared everything. It took them over three years to get it straight. Being this close to him made her feel 17 again. She had felt like she lost him. But he was here now. Thank God he was here now.   
He closed his eyes tightly. "Buffy..."  
"..Do I really hurt you this much.."   
Angel reopened his eyes, running an alabaster fingertip down her cheek as he gazed into her sparkling emerald eyes. "No....I was going to say...make love to me." He smiled gently, having affirmed their desire for one another.  
She choked back a joyful laugh and backed away from him to the bed. Falling backwards onto the cushions, she motioned for him to follow.   
He slowly approached her, crawling up the bed as if stalking her. Tossing the comforter to one side, he gradually made his way up her calves, kissing every inch of exposed skin.   
She closed her eyes for a moment before feeling the need to be even closer to him. She leaned forward and raised his head as she roughly kissed him. Running her hands down his cold arms she shivered slightly. As she leaned back onto her pillows she brought him with her, not wanting to waste one second.   
He held himself on his arms for support, kissing her gently as he slowly made his way into the blossom between her legs, closing his eyes as she began to slightly tighten around him.   
She closed her eyes as well, her whole body tingling with pleasure. She kissed him rougher and more passionate at that moment, her love growing stronger by the minute, feeling the need to erupt.  
He plunged into her deeper still, beginning to push himself into her tightening womanhood harder, steadily increasing his pace.  
She grunted and moaned quietly, occassionally clawing at his back but quickly releasing. Some of her marks drew blood and others didn't. She rubbed her cheek against his and nuzzled his neck.  
Caught in the rapture of her throes of ecstasy, he lifted himself higher, driving down into her with considerable force as he buried himself inside of her, kissing her passionately as their bodies became one.   
She bit his bottom lip as they were kissing then let out another moan, louder than the others. Then she ran her tongue down his neck to his shoulder and then kissed back up, doing this repeatedly.   
He nudged into her cheek lovingly with his own, pumping her harder and harder still, feeling not only her innocence clamp down on him, but also her wetness, signifying she was close to the edge.   
She tried to contain herself as long as she could, but couldn't any longer. As she let everything out she dug her nails deep into his back again and kissed him with more aggression than ever before.   
He kissed back, releasing himself as he pounded into her roughly one last time, then collapsed by her side. Not knowing if his soul's curse was permanent, he drifted away into blackness, his last thought: Buffy wondering if he was still "Angel" afterwards.   
She let out a huge breath and began panting. A smile crept onto her face as she turned to her lover. No words needed to be spoken...no words could describe how good she felt. She was unaware if anything was happening as she laid her head on his chest. After a few moments, her brain processed what just happened. Her joy dissappeared, only to be replaced with worry and a small amount of fear. She kissed his chest in reassurance he was still there then quickly laid her head back down.   
His eyes shot open. The feeling of something seriously different shot through him. He clutched his chest and sat up sharply, breathing heavily, his eyes wide with terror for a moment.   
She sat upright as he did and wrapped the cover around her. Her eyes widened in fear as she saw the pain in his face. "Oh my god..." She grabbed his arm and pulled him close. "What did we do..."   
He calmed down slighty as the realization hit him. He was breathing...the feeling in his chest was a heartbeat. He glanced up at Buffy as if to ask her if she felt his warmth.   
It took her a moment to realize that she felt a thumping. Her eyes now wide in astonishment looked to her hand on his chest. "I-I felt your heart beat.."   
He smiled slightly, nodding. "I know..."   
Eyes glazed with tears of hope raised to meet his own. "But..how? We-"   
"I've atoned, Buffy....all I've done, I never really made amends with you....until tonight..." He smiled warmly, kissing her, his soft lips as warm as her own.   
She kissed him back, enjoying the warmth of his lips. She entwined her fingers with his and smiled. The smile quickly turned into a childish smirk as she crawled into his lap and sat, her back against his bare chest.  
He kissed her neck softly. "Angelus.....is gone..." He smiled again.   
"You must be..." She fumbles for the words, in between his sweet kisses.   
"Must be what?"   
She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him. "...hungry."   
At this, Angel smiled once more. "Only for you..."  
Buffy smiled and rested in his arms. She had cried so much today she was worn out. But something caught her eye before she started to drift off to sleep. She looked to her window and saw the sun's rays beaming on Angel's broad shoulders. Her smile grew larger...no burning...no pain. She kissed the spot where it shone and all the way up his neck.   
He smiled as she kissed, lying back beside her, wrapping his arms around her exhausted body, their warmth mingling as she drifted to sleep.   
Her eyes growing heavy, she cuddled as close as she could to him. She would make it through this...now she could make it through anything. After a few moments she was asleep in his arms, her chest rising and falling with her breathing. No, they shared that...and that fact helped her sleep.   
He held her in his arms, smiling cordially. He had his Beloved, and he had atoned for his humanity...or had he? Leave it to the Powers That Be to grant him mortality as he faced a hellgoddess...something told Angel that this wouldn't have a happy ending. With that thought he fell to sleep, in the Slayer's arms. Maybe, just maybe, he'd get a happy ending this time. 


End file.
